Editing example 2: Technical paper (excerpt)
This is an excerpt from a paper on washing photographic
films. Editing removes grammatical errors and awkward
constructions, as shown in bold text.
Original text [107 words]
My approach to measure the kinetics of the washing process was quite different. The considerations of chapter 3
show that latest at the second wash we handle small concentrations. A very fast method of measurement of ion
concentrations in water is the measurement of the electrical conductivity. Previous trials with normal mains water
showed that after the second wash the conductivity is only controlled by the usual mineral constituents. So I decided
to use demineralized water, where a high electrical resistance is really a quality mark for the pureness. The electrical
conductivity was determined with an electronic device following a proposal in [2], but with several modifications.
Reproduced by permission of Rolf Suessbrich
Edited text [95 words]
My approach to measuring the kinetics of the washing process was quite different. Chapter 3 shows that after the
second wash the concentrations are small. A fast method of measuring ion concentrations in water is to
measure the electrical conductivity. Previous trials with normal mains water showed that after the second wash
the conductivity is controlled only by the usual mineral constituents. So I decided to use demineralized water,
for which a high electrical resistance indicates purity. The electrical conductivity was measured with
an electronic device as proposed by Vaessen [2], but with several modifications.